Shifting my visioning from what I want my life to be to who I want to be.
In this time where so much is shifting in the world, I see the possibility to manifest a future before unimagined. Many teachers and spiritual leaders are talking about this as a time to imagine what is possible. A time to take stock in what we value and create a future from there. There are shifts in what I value since March. Living in a city. I still love living in a city. I love being able to walk to so much and be close to my friends and community. Pre-COVID my home was a frequent gathering place. Yet, I feel the pull of nature more. Being close to woods and water are increasing in value for me. Also, I always thought I wouldn't want to work from home more than one day a week. I enjoyed the camaraderie of an office. After a month of working from home, I realized how tiring being around people all-day is for me as an empath. The way shorter commute and a clear energetic space meant I had more energy. I newly value working from home.
With these shifts in what I value, I began to envision my future. I started to see a home on a lake where I could see stars. I started to see a life where I didn't work in an office. There was a lightness and desire as I began to see the possibilities of what my life would be. I began to meditate on this new vision to flesh it out, but it didn't fill with energy. It sat on the edge of my being not penetrating my heart. One day in meditation, I had the realization that the future I'm to envision is not what my life will be, but who I am to be. That clicked and I knew it as truth. I let the question fill in around me, Who am I becoming?
Seven years ago, there was a major shift in my life. I began a regular and deep spiritual practice. In the few years before that, I spent more time thinking about practicing and talking about practicing, than actually practicing. I am a person who works better with others than alone. So I created a New Moon Group. A small group of women interested in deepening their own spiritual practices gathered each month before the new moon. We would plan out our month's intention, new moon ritual, and practices. This group gave me the structure to make practice a regular part of my life. From there everything changed in me.
When I look back at my life seven years ago, not that much has changed in form, but I'm an entirely different person. I have the same career, albeit a new company. I live in the same house. I have basically the same group of friends. The big difference is that I have a life partner. Yet, even this is more a change in who I am. I am now a person who shares her life with someone with deep love and commitment. While that is the most visible change in my being, it is far from the most profound. I suffered from routine bouts of depression where I would hunker into the house. The only thing that would get me going was the routine of a job to go to. The voice in my head was a constant companion. I didn't even know it wasn't me (Ekhart Tolle). Most of all, I was sure I could make everything OK by planning out what would happen and have 3, 4, 8 contingencies in my head.
I haven't had a real bout of depression in over five years. I have extended moments of calm and quiet mind. I've even experienced days and weeks where my mind is quiet and I am present to every moment. I recognize my ego and I can set it aside to allow my soul to lead. My baseline emotional state is happy, even joy. The difference between who I am being now versus seven years ago is profound. This contrast opened a space of possibility for the future. Who am I becoming?
I pulled out my journal from seven years ago to see what insights might be there. I went back and looked at the first New Moon ritual I did with the New Moon group. This first month, my intention was to increase my psychic and magickal powers. As part of the ritual, I wrote a mantra that I said for years, "I am a powerful witch. I stand in my power and I let it shine." I wasn't even sure what "powerful witch" meant but I knew it held truth for me. Today, this is less a mantra and more a description. I create powerful transformational rituals both solitary and with others. I live in connection with Source. I live a blessed, energy-filled, magickal life.
And. Who am I becoming?
As I sat in the question, I picked up my journal. From my hand flowed the words of a new statement of being. A statement or mantra of who I am to become. I'm not even sure what much of it means, yet I'm certain of its truth. And perhaps with it, there will be a home where I see stars. Maybe there will be a job where more of my energy is focused on spirit. And maybe my life will look the same, but I will be entirely different.
These are the words that came. These are the words I am breathing into being.
I AM Ascended Priestess. I live in the third dimension and fifth dimension simultaneously. I am aligned with Creation's unfolding in thought, feeling, and action in every moment. I tend the Earth by bringing light, beauty, and ease to life.
Blessed Be.
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